Thursday 9 June 2011

Inconsistent

I think the worst part of my husband finding out was not so much the initial shock and anger, but the inconsistency afterwards.  While his mind is confused and all over the place his behaviour is inconsistent and hard to keep up with.


I feel like I need to be there for him to speak to when he needs it, but then when that turns into a lashing, I take the hits, hard.  How long am I expected to keep taking the hits from him and eveyone else in my life?


I haven't even dealt with his family yet.  But it's going to start.  Today his uncle approached his father to find out if it were true that we're separated for good (which he confirmed).  The worst part about that is the uncle isn't anyone we'd every interact with.  He's found out from his brother in-law in the country lol.


So my sisters (that aren't speaking to me) have told their father, my step-dad who I haven't spoken to in months, who has then told the brother in-law.  Ahhh how good news travels fast huh.


My absent father seems to be the only family offering support without judgement - well and his son and wife I guess. 


How is it that life works out that way.  The people that have known you the longest are the ones that find it easiest to judge you - to your face and behind your back, and the ones that have been absent, show more genuine concern for you.  It's a real tug of war on anyones emotions.